January 13th– First Date & First Kiss
February 8th- “I LOVE YOU” was said
August 11th– Engagement
December 28th – “I Do” for Time and all Eternity
Oliver and I have been madly in love for 3yrs and are about to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary. After watching our love for one another beat a 4-month long distance relationship, we knew marriage was our end goal.
Being so in love meant that we did not want a long engagement; we wanted our eternity to begin soon. 4 months later, we were sealed for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake City temple and our dreams became reality. A walk towards my future husband with my parents and, a kiss to seal a future together.
Once all of the wedding flutters fade and the pictures become a memory on your wall, you realize that your spouse is a human being and comes with flaws you may not have known beforehand. Just like you, your spouse struggles with imperfections, sensitivity, frustrations.
You will then realize that the love you have for your spouse is not the same as movie love. You do not wake up looking flawless or land yourselves a perfect home and secure financial environment straight after the honeymoon. That realization makes you work for your love. You discover that love is a choice! It is a decision to love each other in sickness in health, for better or worse.
Just watching the news proves that our society bombards us with several cases of war and heartache. It reflects a society missing one thing- LOVE. Real love weathers the storms which life brings. Real love stays constant and cannot be destroyed. Real love takes patience and time. Following your heart may sound fickle and frightening, but with the determination and understanding that work is needed to keep the sparks and romance alive, it should not be feared but encouraged. We should never abandon ship each time we are faced with a disagreement in our marriage.
Having had extremely positive role models of strong marriages throughout my life with grandparents who have been married for 56yrs and parents who have been married 27yrs, I was open to seeing how love does face trials. However, I also witnessed how positivity and praise changes love for the better. I watched my role models work on keeping their love alive.
When it comes to facing contention in my own marriage, I am the stubborn one who prefers to hold all of my feeling in and Oliver is defensive and does not hide any of his feelings. Regardless of whether the topic is finances, cleanliness or feelings of lack of romance since having a baby, our discussions are always better when we are able to stay calm and feel safe expressing our feelings. Our real love for one another is certainly a commitment to an imperfect person. Whenever we face contention, we always try to choose love rather than war in our own home.
Overall, love is worth everything. It is worth fighting for and it certainly causes extreme happiness. If you truly love someone (and they return the same feelings) work on it and never give up. We choose who we fall in love with. We choose who we STAY in love with.